What does a personal attack look like?
I used the term “Ad hominem” just to prove that I really learned something in school. I did enjoy my logic class at Cerritos college and, of course, a big part of that class was a discussion of “logical fallacies”. Though we use many logical fallacies without even thinking about it, the Ad hominem–attacking a person, instead of their argument is extremely prevalent. There are a ton of different ways this can be done–I will highlight some below. Is it possible that we resort to personal attacks because either our argument or our ability to articulate that argument is weaker than we would like?
Not qualified–this might be like me saying someone doesn’t have the life experience or education to be able to express an opinion on a subject. I cannot think of how many times at work, the laborer comes up with a solution that the professional engineers never thought of–nothing personal, Brad:).
Social Undermining-this is an attempt to cast a negative light on the speaker by attacking their actions, efforts or characteristics. Some examples might be like saying–“you obviously have too much time…”, “get a life…”, “I can’t believe you think…” Mocking would be another example–laughing at something where humor is not intended.
Guilt by Association–“Of course, that is what you think, you’re a liberal (conservative)”, “there you go, drinking the Kool-Aid…”
Questioning or attacking the motive–This is often speaking for someone else. Maybe saying something like “you just want…” or “you don’t care about…”
Labeling–this can be classifying a person into a category to discredit them–racist, homophobe, etc. They become an object to us, instead of a person.
Damaged Filter–Giving our take of someone else before their thoughts are heard. This can involve some of the other personal attacks–like saying “look at this article written by a conservative/liberal…” Like it or not, that will have an effect on how we view the article.
Black & White Thinking–this assumes that there are only two choices and they are mutually exclusive. While sometimes this may be true, it is often not the case. Saying something like “you either vote for my candidate or you hate our country” would be an example of this.
Name Calling–this is often done directly like saying–“you obviously are a sheep” or it can be veiled like saying “how can you be so stupid”. In either case it is de-humanizing, just like labeling which allows us to treat that person now as an object, instead of as a person with value.
What is most important to you? If I would ask myself that in the heat of the moment, how much hurt could I avoid. Is winning my argument that important? How does that compare to my desire to care for others? There are so many hurting people…I don’t want to create more.
Next week I get to blame you for my actions, after all, you make me so mad…